Last week I escaped. I got in my car early Wednesday morning before anyone but our puppy was awake and I drove until the afternoon. I drove away, which can be at the right time, an incredibly lovely thing to get to do. To drive out of my neighborhood, onto the interstate, a few hundred miles, then out of the state can be tiny gifts of freedom, one after another.
I had planned this escape for nearly a year and it landed at precisely the time I needed to escape. These months of pandemic, quarantine, racial honesty and tension, kids at home and needing to be here, there, and everywhere had worn me down.
What do you do when you know you need to escape? Out of the state or just out of the house? Away from the people whom you love so much so that you can renew your strength to love them even more.
In my experience, men tend to be a bit freer to make these escapes. Outdoor sports and weekends with the guys simply seem more acceptable, maybe even more encouraged than a woman’s escape. That is not true in every household, but it is true in many.
So as I tell you with renewed freedom and life that I escaped, I say this with awareness and a twinge of guilt that I had the chance to drive away. Away from people at home needing food, encouragement, refereeing, structure, and so many things from me at most minutes of the day. Away from work with its weird pandemic intensity. I escaped and I was free for four entire days.
I’m going to keep you in suspense about where I went in hopes that you will think about your own need to escape. Escaping does not make you a bad parent or spouse or pastor. It makes you a restored, renewed, whole, and more at peace child of God.
I could escape because I have family members who love me, a spouse who understands when I need to drive away, and co-workers who support me. And women, I know these are luxuries that do not abound. I escaped with gratitude and returned with gratitude, but mostly I returned more aware of who I am, beloved child of the generous God who shows up in the silence. The one who gives me the signal to escape that I often miss but this time did not.
Lisa Lewton 