Sometimes

Margaret Wheatley wrote a book called “turning to one another.” In it, she asks a question that has me pondering: “Am I becoming someone I respect?”

What do you think as you rattle this question around in your heart and mind? I hope it clings to you like it has to me.

Am I becoming someone I respect, now perhaps halfway through this life? Am I?

I answer with a resounding: sometimes. Sometimes I speak up for my neighbor when I would rather not. Sometimes I slow down enough to recognize my life is not mine, it is God’s. Sometimes I pay close attention to the people God has put in my life to love. Sometimes I know what matters to me and order my life around these values. Sometimes.

And sometimes, I mostly hope people like me. I rush through the days and miss the moments that matter. I make hasty decisions that don’t reflect my values. Sometimes.

Last night in Confirmation, we discussed Jesus’ humanity and divinity. “Was Jesus human or divine,” I wondered with them. I began to answer with the theological response that frankly makes the Christian faith hard. But before I could give the answer, which is “yes,” a student responded, “Both, I bet it’s both.” Yeppers.

It’s both. This is, perhaps, the hurdle of the Christian faith. Choosing one answer over the other is cleaner and more comforting. If you feel like nerding out, the 4th century argument over whether Jesus was human or divine exacerbated by a heretic named Arius led finally to the formation of the Nicene Creed. In it, we confess Jesus was born of the Holy Spirit and the virgin Mary and became truly human. Jesus was human and divine, both at the same time.

If Jesus can be both, then there may be space for the sometimes answer. I can be both broken and made whole. I can be hopeful and despairing. I can be forgiven and yet forgetful, saint and sinner. My days can be both ups and downs, tragic and joyful.

Am I becoming someone I respect? Sometimes. And yet, the mercy of the Savior both human and divine is not sometimes, but at-all-times.

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