How to Have a Theological Discussion (John 3:1-21)

(John 3:1-21 NRSV) Now there was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a leader of the Jews. ²He came to Jesus by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God.” ³Jesus answered him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” ⁴Nicodemus said to him, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” ⁵Jesus answered, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. ⁶What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. ⁷Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ ⁸The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” ⁹Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” ¹⁰Jesus answered him, “Are you a teacher of Israel, and yet you do not understand these things? ¹¹“Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen; yet you do not receive our testimony. ¹²If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things? ¹³No one has ascended into heaven except the one who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. ¹⁴And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, ¹⁵that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. ¹⁶“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. ¹⁷“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. ¹⁸Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God. ¹⁹And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. ²⁰For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. ²¹But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.”

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Of course, I am not Jesus. In no way, shape or form would I compare myself as a pastor to Jesus the rabbi and the guy who died for my sins. However. I must say that when a curious person approaches me with a theological question to kick off a theological discussion, I am so much gentler than this rabbi! As a pastor, I meet a curious person where they are in their theology and experience, wherever that happens to be.

Reading this text, Jesus comes across as abrasive to me, hardly receptive to the reality that a devoted Pharisee (in many ways Jesus’ archnemesis) has willingly approached him in order to learn from him! And Jesus seems to have little interest in meeting Nicodemus where he is.

Nicodemus first admits he cannot understand how Jesus does the signs he does, such as turning water into wine. Jesus shoots back at him, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.”

What?????????

How did Nicodemus, who had gathered so much courage to find Jesus in the dark of night to escape the notice of his Pharisee friends, keep himself from turning around and sneaking out the backdoor? What kept him in the conversation that was sinking farther and farther from his theological understanding? Why is Jesus, in my perspective, so hard on this curious dude?

If you were to ask my one-line advice of how to change the world, it would be this: “More curiosity, less certainty.” Only when we are as courageous as Nicodemus to admit when we do not understand, do we become open vessels to be filled with new mercies.

Jesus uses a different approach to theological discussion that looks to me like confusion and criticism. And that reminds me of how theological discussions often unfold today. “I know this and therefore you are wrong.” “I am a democrat/republican/libertarian/white person/nonwhite person/old person/young person/impoverished person/rich person/a man/a woman/Protestant/Catholic/Evangelical/just so right and therefore why would I try to learn anything from you?”

These days, the discussion, if ever we can call the way we exchange theologies a discussion, is like trying to play tennis with a medicine ball. We do not get very far and we miss the whole point. We use the wrong equipment. Instead of curiosity, we use condemnation. Instead of the faithful Jewish way to discuss theology, which is centered in the questions, we cling to easy answers.

Nicodemus utters questions in this dialogue. Jesus gives answers. We do not know how the discussion ends, although we do know Nicodemus is sympathetic to Jesus’ ministry each of the two times he appears later in John’s Gospel (7:50-52, 19:38-42). Nicodemus was not put off by Jesus’ abrasiveness. We might surmise that Nicodemus, who came to Jesus in the dark, was awakened by his words: “those who do what is true come to the light…” Later on, it is in daylight that Nicodemus the Pharisee helped remove Jesus’ body from the cross in John 19:39. In the light, he cared for the one whose body did not survive the darkness.

One takeaway to this story may be that Jesus can have whatever kind of theological discussion he darn well chooses! It can be abrasive or gentle, dialogical or a lengthy monologue. While that works for Jesus, it will never work for humans in the 21st century.

• How do we talk to each other about God?
• What do you do when a friend with a contrasting view of the Bible insists hers is the only acceptable view?
• How do we respond to those who imagine one exclusive translation or approach to the Scriptures? Or that Jesus would die only for certain people? Or that Jesus wants the best for only a particular group?

I would not do what Jesus did with Nicodemus, which would shut down a discussion. We can, however, trust that when light seeps into a discussion, there is wiggle room for the Holy Spirit. And maybe, months or even years down the line, as was true for Nicodemus, good will come from that discussion.

Tell me, have you ever been part of a theological discussion that went well?