Teachers and school staff do not need a calendar to recognize August. Even teachers who retired years ago feel the start of a school year roll in like a storm system. Similar to a change in the pressure system pronounced by the ache in your elbow, former teachers feel the arrival of August in their bones.
Both new and seasoned teachers are walking storybooks, living records of generations of families that have come and gone through their classrooms. Ask one to tell you a story of an anxious parent on “meet-the-teacher” night who organized her 1st grader’s desk, lining up the glue sticks in perfect order. Or the dad who could be mistaken for the anxious student if he wasn’t so tall, projecting his own first-day-jitters.
A parent carries more than the bag of school supplies on the eve of a kiddo’s first day. That parent also brings his or her own baggage: memories of her anxious need for perfection as a student; memories of his fear that he might look weak in front of the other boys. For some parents and guardians, walking into a school might be slightly terrifying. Certain memories, like a change in the pressure system, run deep and make uncomfortable return visits. We are what’s happened to us, perhaps.
This may surprise you, but your child’s first day may benefit from your reflections on your own first days of school. By looking back on your own life, you become a little clearer on your thoughts, feelings, and values, which helps you parent with extra grace for your child and for yourself.
Below are questions to get you reflecting. You might talk through one or two with a friend or partner or scribble a few notes in a journal. Part Two of this series will take those questions one step deeper. How might what you know about yourself both (always both) help and hinder the excitement of your child’s first day? I’ll share an image that has guided my own parenting.
For now, here is your homework:
- What comes to mind when you recall your own first days of school?
- Is there a word or phrase that captures how you felt as a student?
- What did your parents or family expect from you in school? What happened if you fell short?
- What did you expect of yourself?
- What was your favorite activity at recess? (This may not be a helpful question – but it might be fun! Playgrounds have changed since you were there!)
As you reflect, pay attention to what happens inside of you. Notice the tender spots, the feelings that bubble up. And then take a breath that fills you with the peace of the Spirit, making all things new. Even you.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:19)
Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash
Lisa Lewton 